Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
   
2. Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
   
3. Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
   
4. If you`ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you`ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
   
5. Ya know u would never know u where happy if u never had bad memory.
   
6. Me: Dad, going to the 50cents concert. Dad: Here`s a dollar, take your sister with you.
   
7. No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
   
8. I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
   
9. Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
   
10. Fast way to mess up someones Knock Knock joke? "It`s open."
    
11. What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
    
12. You are more likely to be bitten by a person who believes they are a shark than an actual shark.
    
13. A cop just pulled me over and said papers - so I said scissors, I win and drove off.
    
14. The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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