Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Someone cut in front of me in the salad bar line today. I didn`t do anything because anyone who wants a salad that badly terrifies me.
   
2. I started to question my sanity this morning, It told me to "Shut up and chew through the straps....). I was free by noon......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
   
3. Tonight’s forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
   
4. The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
   
5. If McDonald`s was smart they`d serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.
   
6. apparently telling my girlfriend her acuracy is as high as a magic 8 ball wasn`t a good idea.
   
7. I have a tremendous sex drive ... My girlfriend lives 25 miles away.
   
8. Cashier: Would you like your milk in a bag? Me: No, let`s just keep it in the carton, ok?
   
9. The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.
   
10. Some people just bring out the psycho in me
    
11. Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
    
12. Don`t you just love it when you see someone who is photogenic, looks perfect in every picture but then when you see them in person you`re like EURGH God Damn! What happened to you in the last 24h!
    
13. Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
    
14. People say I`m too patronising (that means I treat them as if they`re stupid).
    
    
    
    
    
    

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