Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
   
2. If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
   
3. My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I`m camping, I won`t be covered.
   
4. I haven`t been drinking. I know what day it is. I didn`t lose my pants. This might be my car. I know how to drive. -Lies I`ve told to cops.
   
5. A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?" Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"
   
6. SOCIAL WORKER: cop without a gun, judge without a gavel.
   
7. When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That`s why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson.
   
8. No one`s going to do it for you. It`s up to you, to make naps a priority in your life.
   
9. I can read your mind, your thinking about sex right now, no wait, wait.. that`s my mind, sorry, I can read my mind. . .
   
10. People with kids, your posts are all the birth control I need.
    
11. Nothing is better than seeing your ex with someone uglier than you!
    
12. I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
    
13. I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
    
14. Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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