Daily Silly Status is your home to over 25,000 silly facebook statuses!

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1. So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
   
2. it`s not that I`m bad at remembering names, I`m just awesome at forgetting them.
   
3. I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
   
4. Hypothetically, when is the right time to tell your divorce attorney that you`ve never been married and you love spending time with him?
   
5. I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
   
6. Girls probably spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
   
7. Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
   
8. Wife: give me money I want to buy a bra. Husband: you`ve got nothing to put in them. Wife: you wear shorts
   
9. I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
   
10. Sometimes when it rains I go outside with a cocktail umbrella and pretend I`m a Giant.
    
11. If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
    
12. No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.
    
13. My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates.
    
14. There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.
    
    
    
    
    
    

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