Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have an awesome idea, but first I`ll need a zebra, bungee cords, jello, and a partner in crime. Any takers?
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn`t believe me.
Sure, we can be friends. I get to be Chandler.
Turtle: I`m the slowest. Snail: No, me. Internet Explorer: Bitch, please
Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
The fact that Google autocompletes all of my questions just reaffirms how unoriginal all my problems are.
A naughty thought is a terrible thing to waste
Actually, when I went to New Orleans, I blacked out too.
Man cannot live on bread alone ... hence beer and stuff.
Life is hard ... It`s harder if you`re stupid.
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.