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Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered...WAS I drunk the whole time?
i never said i knew what i was doing, i said i was going to do it anyway :)
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Having kids is like being at a press conference: "No, you can`t put the dog in the washer - next question." "No, you can`t really fly -next"
Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
Ermegerd! I WON EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH!!!!! Again! I love being self employed..
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
I haven`t crunched all the numbers, but early calculations show that a large percentage of people don`t care what you think.
My credit card company called. They want me to leave home without it.
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it`s AM. Google thinks I`ve got my life together.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.
The awkward moment when you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.