Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
I just ran butt a$$ naked through Walmart yelling "Stop that shoplifter! she got my clothes!"
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......
The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
I got kicked out of the public swimming pool today. Apparently the `Breast Stroke` wasn`t what I thought it was.
Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table.
Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don`t get married. If you are over 35, don`t get married. If you are 35, don`t get married.
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing.
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.
It`s not you, it`s me. I can`t stand you.