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"Check, please!" - Me, at a restaurant begging the waiter to make sure there are no monsters under the table
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
Instead of exes, they should be called whys.
So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it.
I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
Do NOT accept friend requests from Hormel Foods, it could be spam...
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I’ll be there.
It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for……. “Your order’s ready.”
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
If you want to keep a secret from me, write it down and send it to me as a Facebook event invitation.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. They are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
I hope when I die Charlie Sheen`s life flashes before my eyes.
Just think, there is an entire generation of idiots who will wonder: "Why did they have a hashtag button on landline phones?"
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie