Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you`re wondering about my cooking skills, I`ve been asked to bring paper towels to our family gathering.
I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
The WWF advert asks, “When the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?” ... Well, swimming, I suppose.
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
You`re exceeding the limits of my medication. Please go away.
Tattoos are an expensive and a painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
Girl rule. A girl will only compliment another girl that is uglier than they are.
Just a word of advice for all you single guys having a hard time out there, Forget the clubs, forget the churches, forget the online dating sites, as the best places to meet single women are the freezer section and down the cat food isle.....
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
Like a good neighbor, strip clubs are there
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%