Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Another beautiful morning I wish I was sleeping through.
Money can`t buy happiness, but I`d rather cry in a Ferrari.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit? Asking for a friend.
Not to brag, but I don’t need to smoke pot to get the munchies.
Sorry I liked your status, I was cleaning my phone.
Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don´t make eye contact while eating a banana.
Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
When i see a person hailing a cab, i run quickly by them and slap them a high five just to boost their enthusiasm!
If she is still able to walk to the kitchen after s@x , you don`t deserve a sandwich.
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
Women my age expect a man to have his sh!t together by now. Time to start dating younger women.
I never want to go to sleep less than I do at bed time.
Day Light savings this weekend is pissing me off, we will lose a hour we will never get back...........wait...thinkin`.....I guess we do....carry on...