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"My phone`s about to die." -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call
I bet my road rage would be taken more seriously if I spoke German
We live in a society that`s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
I did not say you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
“But I read somewhere…” -me about to make some sh!t up.
"Sleeping on the couch" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, & a Facebook… When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.
If Santa doesn`t bring me something good I`m going to pee in his lap like I did when I was eight.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
While it was raining today, I thought for fun I would run out there and scream "I`m melting I`m melting!"
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.