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Online dating is like shopping for a car online... show me the carfax!! I wanna see the history!
If you can´t say anything nice ... we´re probably related.
The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can`t.
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
Every parent’s superpower is the ability to communicate “I love you!” and “I will kill you!” with a single look.
I was on way home this morning when I seen an AA van pulled in and the driver was crying his eyes out. I thought to myself that guy is heading for a breakdown.
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
To a musician, a g-string means something completely different than it does to me. .
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
The fact that you don’t find me amazing doesn’t bother me at all, it just confirms what I have suspected all along; that you have bad taste.
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.