Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
I`m scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I`ll run them under cold water for half a second
When you were little, “I’m going to tell your mom” was the scariest sentence ever.
Why do people ask “What the hell were you thinking?” Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
Why would I dance like nobody`s watching? People need to see this.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything... Well, my phone number for a start.
Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn`t improved since fourth grade.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to "unstable".
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
I just saw a disclaimer that said "don`t try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbors house.
I have no idea what swag is, but I`m fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.
Good news everyone – my proctologist called and all the tests were negative. Bad news - his ring is missing...