Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I made a bucket list for when I kick the bucket. Number one: Wear shoes! Ever tried kicking a metal bucket without shoes? Hurt like hell.
FYI fellas: if you wake up with some chick and you can`t remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They`ll write her name on the cup for ya!!!
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
If there`s one thing I`ve learned, it`s that I should have learned some other stuff.
Every parent’s superpower is the ability to communicate β€œI love you!” and β€œI will kill you!” with a single look.
My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
I`m so scattered I don`t know whether I found this rope or lost my horse.
"The secret is that it`s all in the wrist!" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something
Holy sh*t! Did you guys know Facebook has a "sign out" button?
Pillow forts have no age limit when you’re awesome.
Adam Levine beating me out for sexiest man contest is complete bullsh*t.
It`s all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she`s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment.. :|
If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.