Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone`s house on fire. Either way, I`m prepared.
Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
"How`s phone reception in the bathroom?" is an important question, but one you just can`t ask on a job interview.
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
If your girlfriends cat gets eaten by an angry pitbul terrier, gently singing "The circle of life" into her ear WILL NOT cheer her up.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking “I’m gonna ki..-ahhh. Damn, he’s under a blanket.”
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday