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I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
My support group can outdrink your support group.
It’s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
Dropping a can of soda and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not nearly as funny when you live by yourself.
A leaf blower, but for people.
Pretty much the only time I want to hear about your ex is if she`s standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I`m good.
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman, it doesn`t matter if its Visa or Mastercard.
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
The girl on the flyer is never at the club.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
How strange, some guy just waved half of a peace sign at me...
Never buy crystal meth from a guy with a full set of teeth. He`s obviously an undercover cop.
My mum`s so old fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you`re Pa`s in hospital LOL.