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Smelling another person should be a choice. Just sayinβ
I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
I like to walk around the house naked. Until the cops chase me back inside.
You know you`re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
If practice makes perfect, one day I will make the perfect mistake.
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
If you live up be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people⦠like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.