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I was laying down, looking up at the stars while I was writing this post. Then it dawned on me; `Where the heck is the ceiling?`
It`s Monday. I`m refreshed and ready to hate my Job
My wife and I are dieting now… and by dieting, I mean we’re not telling each other about the junk food we eat.
It`s just a mater of time before bathrooms will eventually be called Selfie Rooms
Pringles cans should have a twist mechanism like stick deodorant.
My body keeps doing these muscle twitches like it wants me to get off this couch and move around. HAHAHAHA. As if.
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
It’s a good job Apple isn’t in charge of New Year. We’d all be expecting 2015 and get 2014S instead.
I have an irrational fear of speed bumps but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Don`t wait until you`re on your deathbed to tell people how you really feel because you could be too weak to raise your middle finger.
My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I`m proud of him, I doubt he`ll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"
Either I wrote a bunch of drunken Facebook status updates last night, or my dog has finally figured out the computer.