Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m an organ donor, but I`m pretty sure all they`re going to use my liver for is "after" photos.
is in that awkward phase of the day between never drinking again and noon.
They say women only use 10% of their anger
Saw a hobo sleeping on a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. Must be his alarm system.
You call it "Road Rage". I call it "Aggressively maneuvering around a$$holes that don`t know how to f*cking drive."
I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I`m still looking for ideas.
I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over.
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
After watching the "Schticky" ad, I am convinced now there are 8 wonders of the world.
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?
I`m not perfect. But I am better than you.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.