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Eggnog is perfect for when you feel like drinking a glass of pancake batter.
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
It`s a good thing farting isn`t as contagious as yawning.
We`re all just nudists in disguise.
It is literally impossible to prove that Harry Potter wasn`t just in his parents basement on acid the whole time
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?
WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You`re an adult" every few minutes.
Tip of the day: Don`t piss off anyone who has unlimited access to your toothbrush.
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.
Do girls that make duck faces in pictures walk in a V formation at the mall?