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"Ho, Ho, Ho!" -Santa Claus/Pimp, doing a head count.
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won´t spoil me.
If you want to preview of the new iPhone 8 and try it out for free before buying it just look at your iPhone 7 and pretend it cost several hundred dollars more.
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
I like to take, long, romantic walks, to the fridge. <3
Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
You can`t control who comes into your life. But you can control which window you throw them out of.
I now have more electronic screens in my life than friends.
I did all I can do. I can´t do no more
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
I`m going crazy! Get in, you`re riding shotgun!
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.