Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My coworkers should be less concerned about my job performance and just be happy I remember to wear pants each day.
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
Thank you Lord for this delicious meal we are about to Instagram.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you`ll be dead soon.
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
is not rude...I just wasn`t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can`t stand.
Single Awareness Day ..... it`s a S.A.D. day
You know you’re a mom, when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
I`m smiling, that alone should scare you.