Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I get in this weird mood where I don`t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood `Awake`
Not sure what`s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
Dear Graduates: Congratulations on making it through the easiest part of your life!
Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
"Memory foam pillow fights". That`s one fight you`ll never forget.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
If I were invisible I`d go beat up a street mime...the applause he would get would be incredible
There was a HUGE spider in the shower.. So I ran into the living room screaming naked.. Now my daughters` friends probably won`t be allowed over anymore..
i make the other half of the Oreo watch.
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
Even if gas prices go down, I´m still going to siphon gas from my neighbor´s car because I like the adrenaline rush and he´s an a$$hole
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.