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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
Sometimes I say stuff without even meaning to be funny and I`m like "Man, my subconsicious is hilarious!"
So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
Life would be a lot easier if employers accepted excuses like “I’m sorry I can’t come into work today, I’m sleepy”
You`ve really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can`t reach it.
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
Exercise would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burn them.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than a dinner for two.
is a mystery you´ll never solve
How long have I been working here? ... Ever since they threatened to fire me.
People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald`s scare me.
Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?