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A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
New word of the day: Stupidiot!!
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental issues
be smart, pretend to be stupid!
Remember....... Its not drinking alone if you`re on Facebook ;)