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Why go to a therapist when a woman will explain everything wrong about you free of charge?
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
I handle stress the way cats bathe in water.
My wife says "YOU`RE DRUNK!" like it is a bad thing.
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
Defeat....the feeling you get when you realize the "next" level is just as hard......
I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It`s been on my keyboard all the time.
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
I suffer from premature procrastination. It’s when you procrastinate before even receiving a task.
I gave my cat 7up, now it has 16 lives
Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
Seeing how Iron Man and Batman are only really smart and super rich, I’m really disappointed with Bill Gates.
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?