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It`s so hard to find obedient minions
Chuck E. Cheese is just a casino for little kids.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
I received an email from a hacker that had accessed my bank account. It simply read, "LOL".
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
Every day is St. Patrick`s Day when you`re a drunk who likes to pinch people.
I`m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)
Is it just me, or would those movies had been far scarier if they were titled "Monday the 13th"