Daily Silly Status

My wife started clipping coupons to help save money. She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse.

If you drink enough, your brain starts photo-shopping people.

Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart?

I think pet shops should give a free laser pointer with every Cat purchase.

I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.

Whenever I see a happy couple.... smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet nothings, very much in love..... I just wish I could give them a lie-detector test.

Drunk is when you feel sophisticated…but can’t pronounce it.

I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.

Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.

I love my six pack abs so much that I cover them with a layer of fat .

When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.

I just got pulled over by the US Border Patrol. The agent comes up to my window and says, "Papers?" I said, "Scizzors!! I win!!!." And drove off. Apparently the US Border Patrol didn`t think Paper beat Scizzors. Sore Losers!!

Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?

Ever notice that no one ever has three cats? They either have one or two cats, then it jumps to 17.

I wonder if my neighbors are more tired of hearing my dog bark or me screaming at it to shut the f*ck up.