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Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
It’s not that I’m old, your music really does suck.
People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
I just ended a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn`t mine.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
It takes patience to listen, it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
It took me quite some time to be this good a procrastinator
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf´s a minute
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads.
Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?
I wonder if my neighbors are more tired of hearing my dog bark or me screaming at it to shut the f*ck up.
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.