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I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
Explain to me the down side of being under house arrest.
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
Men use love to get sex...women use sex to get love...I use coupons to get pizza!
As a man I am so thankful I don`t have to give birth. I could never go nine months without drinking.
Don`t tell me I look tired unless you`re offering to carry me
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
My goal is to move just enough each day that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead.
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don`t use words like "East."
What`s Forrest Gump`s password? 1forest1
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.
I guess I`m somewhat of a big deal, when I tell people about my accomplishments, they always say, "Big deal."
Doing donuts in the parking lot sounds fun. Eating donuts in the parking lot sounds better.