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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Why do people say āI saw it with my own eyes.ā Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
Come on snooze button, is 9 minutes all you have to offer...I need something in the 2-3 hour range.
You know you`re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
I`m beginning to think that my destiny in life is just to be a bad example that other people can learn from.
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like `Stabbyrabbit` or `Weaponrat`
As it turns out, Iām not an afternoon person either.
Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don`t even have a battery in my smoke detector...
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
Hi there beautiful, can I drive you to drink?
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
Everybody reaches a point in their lives when they die.
If you cut your child`s sandwich into squares instead of triangles, you suck at parenting...