Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
Wine with crackers and cheese is basically just the classy version of beer and nachos.
The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it ... I`m gonna miss that baby...
Hurricanes, Fires,Tiger running loose ... Whoever is playing Jumanji needs to wrap it up
If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn`t invite me over.
I once wrestled an anaconda for 4 straight hours... Then I realized I was just masturbating.
When you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
Its better to have loved and lost, then stay with that psyco for one more sec
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
I just quit my job at the helium bottling plant. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone!
Does running out of money count as exercise?