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Just so you know, the movie "Life of Pi" has nothing to do with dessert.
The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"
Today I seek some truth and fulfilment but I’ll settle for some bacon.
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
It only takes 2 ingredients to make a baby. Does that not blow your mind. Like at least there should be some flour or something.
My Living Will says it`s okay to pull the plug on me, but I`d like them to at least try jiggling it a few times first.
Since you no longer have a calendar I`d like to notify all the Mayans that it has been one year since the end of the world.
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
It`s gonna be hotter than Billy Ray Cyrus after watching his daughters performance on the VMA`s tomorrow!
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug
The only difference between McDonald`s and my work is McDonald`s has only got one clown running the show.