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Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
Dear future husband, here’s a few things you need to know If you want to be my one and only all my life. I will not be an ex wife .. only a widow
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
Today is national I don`t feel like doing sh!t today. Celebrate accordingly.
Just a word of advice for all you single guys having a hard time out there, Forget the clubs, forget the churches, forget the online dating sites, as the best places to meet single women are the freezer section and down the cat food isle.....
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
thinks it`ll just be my luck to win the Lottery tonight ...... and the world WILL end tomorrow!
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.
Get Dora and Boots on this missing plane case now, Dora solves the case everytime