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You can tell a guy has a woman in his life when he remembers to do stuff like put on deodorant and wipe his butt most of the time!
I carved my name in a fruitcake in 1982. If anyone gets it this year, post a pic!
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
If you have to ask if it`s too early to drink wine...You`re an amateur and we can`t be friends.
It`s weird how we are all here because of boners
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
Whew, good thing there`s a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we`d be in real trouble.
I`m uncomfortable sharing my feelings with you but completely comfortable standing next to a complete stranger while urinating. - Guys.
I`ll never understand women. They hate when you ask their age, but get mad if you forget their birthday.
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.