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My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I`m fearful of her college days.
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
I just saw a gang of really drunk mosquitoes leave my arm and high-five each other. Weird.
Pretending to be a morning person is exhausting.
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail…
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn´t talk over the song.
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
boss- "You cant drink while your at work!" .. me- "Oh dont worry im not working!!"
I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there`s my drink.
Optimistic people want to hear the bad news first, while pessimists ask for the good. Realists just start drinking.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.