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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
If you see me talking to myself don`t be alarmed. I`m getting expert advice.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
I don`t know why I ever signed up for Facebook. I mean like seriously, this dating website sucks!
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
EVERY Friday is good in my book!
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I`m certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
Guys be like, "Lets play 21 question." Girl: Ok, what`s your favorite color? Boy: Triangle, so you a virgin?
My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.
You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she`s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment.. :|
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday