Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My kids don`t even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
I need a Shazam app for people I`m supposed to recognize but can`t remember
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
You don`t know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.
If guns don’t kill people, but people kill people, then doesn’t that mean that toasters don’t toast toast, but instead toast toasts toast?
Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign to depression.
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
I already know that I`m going to hell ... At this point it`s really go big or go home.