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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
I hope Iām the last guy on earth ā I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
I thought I was having deja vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
Sometimes I feel like people I know are just using me for my likes.
Don`t put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.
Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
I never thought I`d be the kind of person who`d wake up early in the morning to exercise ... And I was right.
People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
Why don`t they make Neapolitan ice cream but with 3 better flavors?
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.