Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I propose we change the names of the upper case P and lower case p to "P standing up" and "p sitting down."
I would like to wish all of the groundhogs a very safe and happy Groundhogs Day.
Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
Sometimes I miss being in a relationship, but then I look at my wallet and I feel alright again.
I like to smile at people who don`t like me because I`m an asshole
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same box of Q-tips.
I`ve been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don`t know how to tell her I forgot her name.
I took part in the sun tan world championships this weekend. I got bronze.
I was at a nice restaurant tonight and accidentally left out a loud fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
Never argue with someone who knows fancier words than you. Like `responsibility`
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...