Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
No matter how many lasagna’s you stack on top of each other, ultimately it’s always just one lasagna
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I`d be like "Sit your translucent a$$ down, I have a lot of questions!"
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
What`s the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old.
The best way to make a bad day better is by adding alcohol.
All my life I`ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
If people in horror movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
Walmartians: Nothing says `FML` like these curious abominations of the shopping world.
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
Sometimes you just have to logout...
Running shoes? No, I don`t run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.