Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This bartender doesn`t know it yet, but she is probably going to make me 36 hours late for work tomorrow.
I`m not feeling myself today ... would you do it for me?
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
If I owned an auto collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”
Matt Damon is set to play an all-action version of Jesus in his new Easter based Biblical film, "Bourne Again Christian".
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work..
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously it`s a girl because it won`t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
I`m out like a fat kid playing dodge ball..
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch
Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support.