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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
My spouse thinks I`m crazy. But I`m not the one who married me.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
I will always love you, even if I have to from no closer than 300 feet.
I met this girl in a club last night, I think she’s a body builder. She just so happened to build hers using chips.
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
This is why my kids dont take me places anymore ... Waitress: “Do u have any questions about the menu?” Me: ” Yes, What kind of font is this?”
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
I am there for you no matter what, anytime, day or night, unless there is something good on TV or I am eating pie
The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He`ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.
My version of Heaven would be filled with all the things I`d probably go to hell for.
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.