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My TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
If you make something easier for yourself they call you lazy. If you make something easier for everyone else they call you a genius.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
Are the ATF and border patrols also shutdown? Asking for a Mexican friend....
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took....
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is `What is never the answer?`
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.