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Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
I don`t have to run faster than the lion. I just have to run faster than you.
I`m jealous of my parents, I`ll never have kids as cool as theirs.
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
It really pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script.
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
I ordered a new GPS unit, but it got lost in the mail.
Is food porn star a thing yet??
Are you really sorry or are you just Charlie Sheen sorry?
Cops don’t like it when you ask them “Need some help?” especially when you’re wearing a Batman costume.
Anyone who calls it a "day off with the kids"... Either has no kids or doesn`t know what "day off" means.