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Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.
Life isn`t a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, chances are you are going to walk home barefoot.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m coming to your house with a facking baseball bat.
Whenever our neighbor`s dog is barking, I know there`s either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?
Pretending to be nice is exhausting...
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
It`s pretty neat how owning a pool gives me an excuse to own every chemical needed to make a body completely disappear.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside!
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.