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If you don`t have anything nice to say I would probably enjoy spending time with you
"Rear facing, pedal activated photon cannon" sounds much more badass than "brake lights"
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
She said she was stripping to feed her kids but then got pissed when I started throwing canned goods at her
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
Why do I even have unlimited texting?
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical
Sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i can slap eight people @ once!
Every time I`m not with my kid and someone asks me "Where`s the baby?" I just yell "Oh crap!" and run in the direction I came from.
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.