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Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
This empty wallet looks like I`ll be laughing obnoxiously at some guy`s awful jokes in a bar tonight.
"A vodka, please" "Sir, this is McDonald`s" "OK, a McVodka, please and super size it."
Me: Dad, going to the 50cents concert. Dad: Here`s a dollar, take your sister with you.
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Red, Trees Are Red ... F*ck? my gardens on fire!
Instead of “single” as a relationship option, it should read “independently owned and operated”
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
Some of the happiest years of a woman`s life are when she`s 29.
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
roses are red, violets are blue, god made everyone beautiful, what the hell happened to you?
All of my plans for the future start out with “when I get rich”
I carry a knife, but it`s just in case of cake.
I rather read the software license agreement for my computer than some peoples Facebook status drama on my newfeeds