Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why are people sad when potatoes can be cooked in like 200 ways?
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
I am so thankful for all the people that aren`t in my life.
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.