Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler.
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
Ladies - I am still available as a great last minute Christmas gift!
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.
Christmas spirit? I`m proud to say I`ve got plenty of that. I`ve got rum, whiskey, gin, brandy, vodka and tequila.
It doesn’t matter how many signs I put up around the office, HR said high five a co-worker in the face with a shovel day isn’t a thing.
The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth.
Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don’t have them, you cry about it.
Last night I got so drunk I blacked out for two hours, but then I realized I’d just put my hoodie on backwards
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.